


When the lights go out and the stars fall away

by AgeOfMiracles



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hawksilver is in here a little, M/M, Reunions, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson thinks you are very stupid, Steve likes to pretend he's ok, but he's not fooling Sam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 03:43:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8385883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgeOfMiracles/pseuds/AgeOfMiracles
Summary: “He missed you though” Pietro added before he walked out. Bucky held Steve tightly.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely love reunion fics so I thought I'd give writing one a try. Hawksilver in this one can be seen as gen or whatever but I had to have it in there cause I just love it so much.

I didn't come here for crying'. Didn’t come here to breakdown. It's just a dream of mine is coming to an end. How am I supposed to live without you  
and how am I supposed to carry on when all that I've been living for is gone  
\- Collin Raye  
I only wish you weren't my friend then I could hurt you in the end. I never claimed to be a saint. My own was banished long ago. It took the death of hope to let you go.  
\- Slipknot, Snuff

Bucky shifted anxiously. He didn’t care for this. The planning the avengers were excitedly going through. He just wanted Steve. Stark had pulled him aside and said they wanted to surprise him, let him know Bucky was here together. Bucky relented. He supposed after all these years he had no right to say he knew Steve better than these people who had fought beside him, laughed with him, saved him. He resented that a little. It was his job to save Steve. Well, at least it was. Falling off a train might not have been his fault but he’d had seventy years away from Steve. Sure, some of it was Hydra but Bucky had stayed away for too long trying to convince himself that he was safe enough to be around Steve again without hurting him. That was his fault. Hopefully Steve would forgive him. Bucky missed him so much it physically hurt seeing him. Yes, Bucky admits it. He may have been a creeper and stalked Steve some days. Nothing too out there. Just followed him on his morning run usually with Sam, when he went for coffee, lunch with Nat. Ok that one did fail because Natalia noticed him eventually. He even once followed Steve when he went to see Peggy which he was never going to do again. Listening to Steve cry was one of the most heartbreaking moments in Bucky’s entire life.

“Barnes?” Bucky looked up to see the avengers staring at him concernedly. 

“What?”

“Are you ok?” Bruce asked gently. Bucky nodded and surreptitiously wiped his eyes.

“Yeah fine. Are we ready?” Stark brushed his hands off.

“Yep. You ready to see you boyfriend again Count Buckula?” Bucky glared and stomped away from him. He heard a yelp and smirked.

“Thanks Nat” Bucky and the avengers piled into the elevator.

“Take us to our leader Jarvis” 

“Are you sure about this sir?”

“Yeah, Capsicle could use a happy surprise so he doesn’t look like a depressed puppy all time” Bucky glared.

“Don’t talk about him like that” Stark ignored him. Bucky turned to Bruce and Clint who shrugged.

“I am not so sure it would be a happy surprise sir”

“Of course he’ll be happy to see his best friend. Come on J. Hop to it”

“As you wish sir” Bucky’s heart hammered as the lift moved upwards. Steve. He was going to talk to Steve for the first time in seventy years. Nat stepped forward and squeezed his shoulder.

“You’ll do fine”

“It’s not me I’m worried about” Bucky muttered.

“Sam and Steve are cooking by the way”

“Sam?” Bucky asked innocently like he didn’t already check up on the guy. Nat and Clint smirked knowingly.

“Samuel Wilson is a most honourable comrade of Steven. He makes the Captain laugh most heartily on many occasions and is the only one who hugs our captain without rejection” Thor frowned deeply as he talked. “I admit that I wish Steven would talk to anyone of us but I am glad he has someone who he loves dearly who will care about him equally in return.” Bucky wasn’t sure if he should be jealous or not.

“Are they- you know?” 

“We’re not really sure” Bruce admitted. Yep, that was definitely jealousy.

“Let’s get this show on the road” Stark interrupted. Bucky squared his shoulders and took a deep breath before following the others onto Steve’s floor.

Steve waved from where he was chopping potatoes. Wanda and Pietro were with him. 

“Hey” he called out, “Sam's just gone to grab some more milk. Food’s nearly ready.” The avengers all shuffled away from Bucky so he was in view. Wanda dropped her knife in shock and Pietro froze in his seat.

“Wanda? Are you ok?” Wanda whipped her head back and forth, her jaw touching the floor. Steve frowned and raised an eyebrow at the avengers who shrugged. Steve sighed, his eyes flicking to Bucky imperceptibly and went back to chopping potatoes. Bucky frowned. Did he suddenly acquire invisibility? He turned to the others who were staring at Steve in confusion. Nat gestured him forward. Bucky softly and slowly made his way over to the kitchen. He nodded at Pietro who smiled back uncertainly. Bucky raised an eyebrow and inclined his head towards Steve who had now moved on to the onions. 

“I don’t know man. I’m not sure surprising him is a good idea, don’t frighten him” Bucky frowned.

“You think he’s scared of me?”

“I don’t know” Just the way he talks about you” Pietro shook his head ruefully. 

“Don’t mess this up” Wanda finished. Pietro clapped him on the shoulder and headed over to stand next to Clint with Wanda. Bucky took a deep breath.

“Steve?” The knife stopped momentarily. Bucky wasn’t sure what to do. Nat pushed the avengers towards the couch.

“Steve?” Steve looked to Nat. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah I’m fine, you want food?”

“Sure” Nat looked across the couch to Stark.

“So do you want us to leave or what?” Steve frowned.

“You don’t have to leave, I’m just cooking dinner. Watch a movie or something if you’re bored” Stark opened his mouth then shut it.” So apparently it was just Bucky Steve was ignoring.

“Would you like some help Steven?” Thor inquired.

“Nah but if you guys could set the table that would be great” Clint grabbed the offered plates and cutlery. Steve grabbed a glass and held it to the tap. Wanda coaxed him forward. Bucky steeled himself and reached out. His hand grazed Steve’s arm.

The glass smashed at Steve’s feet. Bucky jumped at the noise. Steve immediately backed up, putting his hands in front of him.

“Steve?” Bucky asked gently. Steve looked anything but happy. In fact, he looked down right terrified. Which didn’t make sense. Cause if there was one thing Steve Rogers wasn’t, it was terrified. Sure like any man he got scared but never like this. This was new to Bucky. This was what Steve had looked like as he fell from the train. This was pure terror. 

“Steve?” Bucky tried again. Nothing. The other avengers slowly moved forward as well realising something was very wrong. Steve opened his mouth but couldn’t speak. Bucky frowned. 

“You-you’re dead” Steve whispered. Bucky took another step but froze when Steve stumbled away from him again.

“No. I promise I’m here. It’s a long story but I’m alive Steve” Steve frantically shook his head and backed up into the bench.

“You’re not real” He slid down to the floor. “Not real, you’re in my head, it’s all in my head” Bucky tried to reach for him when Steve screamed.

“Stop! Don’t touch me!” Bucky backed off and looked over to the avengers helplessly. They stared back at him just as helpless. The elevator doors opened and Sam walked out.

“Hey guys-“ He broke off when he saw Steve and ran over.

“Steve?” he murmured gently, “Hey man it’s just me” Steve had covered his ears and was muttering to himself.

“Not real, not real. Bucky’s dead. Hallucinations” Steve repeated over and over. Sam carefully placed his hands on Steve’s shoulders. Steve’s arm shot out, catching Sam’s chest and forcing him backwards. Sam landed on the rug a few metres away. Bucky rushed forward wrapping his arms around Steve, effectively pinning his arms to his side.

“What the hell is going on?” Nat crouched next to Sam helping his sit up.

“I should be asking you that! Why did nobody tell me about this?” Sam yelled. The avengers jumped. “I could have told you that he has nightmares about Barnes every night or that he hallucinates him every other day. Or how he talks to you as a hallucination until he remembers that you’re not really there. God! What in the hell possessed you to think this was a good idea?” The avengers stared open mouthed as Sam would down. Bruce sighed.

“We didn’t know any of that” Sam glared at him.

“But you still thought surprising him with his best friend who has been dead to him for seventy years was a good idea? You didn’t think that would freak him out?”

“We thought this would make him smile again” Nat said softly. Sam pushed himself up.

“It might. If he snaps out of this.” Steve had stopped writhing his Bucky’s arms. Bucky slowly let go and Steve immediately crumpled. Bucky shot forward and caught him before he hit the floor in a heap.

“Why aren’t you dead?” He whispered.

“Long story punk. Involving Hydra, the serum and Zola but I’m here now”

“I don’t want you here” Bucky froze.

“You don’t mean that” he said stubbornly.

“I do. You’re going to ruin everything”

“What do you mean?” Steve stared at the floor. His eyes glassy and unfocused. Wanda walked towards him timidly, Pietro trailing behind her.

“Steve?” She began, brushing his hair back as Pietro squeezed his hand. “Do you mind if I?” She gestured to his head. Steve blinked and Wanda smiled.

“Ok. I’ll be gentle, I promise.” Red wisps of light flowed from the tips of Wanda’s fingers. Pietro squeezed Steve’s hand tighter as Wanda lightly touched his forehead. She gasped and the red receded from her eyes.

“He was happy without you” Bucky flinched. Wanda shook her head.

“Sorry, I meant he was finally happy again here after so long. He felt he had finally made peace with you death”

“He doesn’t want to have to get you back to lose you again and have to go through what he did to find happiness again” Pietro surmised. Wanda nodded.

“How do you know that?” Bucky asked Pietro.

“He told me. I couldn’t sleep one night. If I wasn’t feeling the pain of the bullets entering my body, I was too slow and I couldn’t save the old man” he said gesturing to Clint who rolled his eyes fondly. Pietro grinned then sobered.

“He told that I would never really forget but I could move on and eventually it wouldn’t be so real, so painful. Losing you hurt more than waking up and finding out everything and everyone he loved was gone” Bucky’s heart clenched at the thought of Steve waking up alone.

“We’ll give you guys the room” Sam offered. Wanda kissed Steve’s forehead and took Nat’s outstretched hand. Clint helped Pietro up and hugged him his side fiercely as though he could protect him from any pain.

“He missed you though” Pietro added before he walked out. Bucky held Steve tightly.

“I’m sorry Stevie, I’m so goddamn sorry” He whispered into Steve’s soft hair. “I’m here now and I promise I won’t leave you again. Ever. I’m sorry I wasn’t here before, I didn’t trust myself enough o not hurt you but I see now that I was hurting you anyway. I’m sorry darlin’, please give me a chance. I love you so much. I won’t fight anymore, I’ll never leave your side if you want just please. One more chance” Bucky murmured. The sounds of the city reached Bucky’s ears in the quiet. A tear fell down his cheek and onto Steve’s head.

“You’re such a jerk” Bucky looked down into Steve’s beautiful blue eyes.

“Stevie” he breathed. Steve smiled and touched his cheek, wiping away the tear.

“Welcome home Buck”

**Author's Note:**

> I read this fic a few days ago, You were my greatest downfall by macdennis, it was so amazing! God, some of the lines in there totally killed me. I recommend giving it a read.  
> “Captain America lives on because America lives on. Bucky Barnes lives on because the military lives on. It's a system; the American system. A military-industrial complex. So go ahead and keep your Communism. Go ahead and keep your monarchies, dictatorships, and your fascist governments. Take everything. Take it all. They don't need it. America belongs to Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, it's tethered to their souls, they were born with it and they drowned with it, and they're never letting go because America hasn't reached the end of the line just yet.  
> Captain America is a good man. What the newspapers don't know is that Steve Rogers is too.” - You were my greatest downfall. Seriously this fic is just so good.


End file.
